When it comes to communication - forget the Golden Rule "do unto other as you would have done unto you". While it's a good rule to live by, when we communicate to others the way we like to be communicated to, it may not work for them. Better to apply the Platinum Rule® "do unto others and they would have done unto them."
DISC helps us understand what the other styles need in communication so we can alter our approach with them and have more effective interactions. Here are some tips for commnicating with the different styles.
DOMINANCE (they want results)
DO…
Give the bottom line
Focus on results and ROI
Be straightforward
DON’T…
Be giddy or emotional
Give lots of details
Take anything personally
INFLUENCE (they want interaction and recognition)
DO…
Acknowledge them
Ask for their input
Have fun!!!
DON’T…
Patronize or talk down to them
Be cold or impersonal
Reprimand in public
STEADINESS (they want security and peace)
DO…
Be sincere and honest
Take the time to go at their speed
Pay attention to body language
DON’T…
Use “drive-by” communication
Rush them for a decision
Communicate when you’re angry or emotional
COMPLIANCE (they want information and logic)
DO…
Be prepared and organized
Use facts, statistics and research
Use a serious demeanor
DON’T…
Touch them
Be casual or overly personal
Use opinion or feelings as evidence
Once you recognize someone's style, see if you can change your approach with them using these tips and watch as it improves your communication and influence with that person.
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The Platinum Rule® is a registered trademark of Dr. Tony Alessandra. Used with permission. All other rights are reserved in all media.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
DISC doesn't help us understand everything
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in"? But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
• Can you cry under water?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in"? But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
• Can you cry under water?
Monday, April 19, 2010
Where did DISC come from?
DISC is a four quadrant behavioral model, based on the work of William Moulton Marston PhD (1893–1947), that examines the behavior of individuals in their environment or within a specific situation. The model first looked at how people perceived their environment (favorable or unfavorable) and how they perceived themselves in the environment (whether they had control or no control). The four combinations make up the four DISC Styles.
High Dominant people believe the environment is generally UNFAVORABLE but they believe they have CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: aggressive, bold, competitive)
High Influence people believe the environment is generally FAVORABLE and they believe they have CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: optimistic, friendly, confident)
High Steadiness people believe the environment is generally FAVORABLE but they believe they have NO CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: shy, passive, deliberate)
High Compliant people believe the environment is generally UNFAVORABLE and they believe they have NO CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: cautious, analytical, detail-oriented)
As you can see, knowing how people perceive their environment and themselves in it is extremely useful in understanding their behavior.
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High Dominant people believe the environment is generally UNFAVORABLE but they believe they have CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: aggressive, bold, competitive)
High Influence people believe the environment is generally FAVORABLE and they believe they have CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: optimistic, friendly, confident)
High Steadiness people believe the environment is generally FAVORABLE but they believe they have NO CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: shy, passive, deliberate)
High Compliant people believe the environment is generally UNFAVORABLE and they believe they have NO CONTROL over it.
(Subsequent traits: cautious, analytical, detail-oriented)
As you can see, knowing how people perceive their environment and themselves in it is extremely useful in understanding their behavior.
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Monday, April 5, 2010
Have you heard this one?
So there are four pastors in a church trying to figure out how to divide the money from Sunday services.
The High C pastor says, “I think we should each take a small stipend and produce a weekly cash flow projection for the congregation.
The High I pastor says, “I think we should draw a line on the ground, throw all the money up in the air. What lands on the left, we give to God. What lands on the right, we keep for ourselves.”
The High S pastor says, “I think we should do it a little different. Draw a line on the ground, throw all the money up in the air. What lands on the right, we give to God. What lands on the left, we keep for ourselves.”
The High D pastor says, “We should do it differently. Let’s throw all the money up in the air. Whatever God wants, he keeps. Whatever lands on the ground is ours.”
The High C pastor says, “I think we should each take a small stipend and produce a weekly cash flow projection for the congregation.
The High I pastor says, “I think we should draw a line on the ground, throw all the money up in the air. What lands on the left, we give to God. What lands on the right, we keep for ourselves.”
The High S pastor says, “I think we should do it a little different. Draw a line on the ground, throw all the money up in the air. What lands on the right, we give to God. What lands on the left, we keep for ourselves.”
The High D pastor says, “We should do it differently. Let’s throw all the money up in the air. Whatever God wants, he keeps. Whatever lands on the ground is ours.”
Monday, March 8, 2010
Are you misunderstood?
Everyone is misunderstood at some point. This happens because we are typically judged on our behavior – not our intentions. And our intentions are always good…right?
So what are the biggest misperceptions based on style?
High D – Most people assume High D’s feel no fear. They are known to be big risk takers. However, most have just learned to act in the face of fear. They subscribe to the philosophy, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
High I – Aren’t High I’s happy and bubbly all of the time? As soon as a High I is quiet, people will be asking them “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Even the highest I’s need to have their downtime.
High S – People make the mistake of assuming that High S’s are wimpy or weak. Big mistake! Just think of some of the most notable High S’s and judge for yourself: Gandhi, Tiger Woods, Kevin Costner, and Bill Gates.
High C – There is a misperception that High C’s are never silly or fun. While it may not be their normal modus operandi, when they are comfortable and with friends or family, they can be just as goofy as the rest of us!
---------------------------------------------------------------
So what are the biggest misperceptions based on style?
High D – Most people assume High D’s feel no fear. They are known to be big risk takers. However, most have just learned to act in the face of fear. They subscribe to the philosophy, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
High I – Aren’t High I’s happy and bubbly all of the time? As soon as a High I is quiet, people will be asking them “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Even the highest I’s need to have their downtime.
High S – People make the mistake of assuming that High S’s are wimpy or weak. Big mistake! Just think of some of the most notable High S’s and judge for yourself: Gandhi, Tiger Woods, Kevin Costner, and Bill Gates.
High C – There is a misperception that High C’s are never silly or fun. While it may not be their normal modus operandi, when they are comfortable and with friends or family, they can be just as goofy as the rest of us!
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Which DISC style makes the best manager?
That's a trick question because each style has its strengths and weaknesses when it comes to managing. So let's just focus on one aspect of management - acknowledging and encouraging staff.
One of the hardest things for Low I managers to do is compliment and acknowledge their staff. High I managers tend to be better at it because they themselves thrive on appreciation and are more expressive with all of their feelings.
High D Managers - they don't need the acknowledgement so they don't feel the need to give it. People are just doing what is expected of them - that's what they get paid for - why make a fuss about it?
High S Managers - they tend to silently appreciate people's efforts. Since they aren't expressive with any of their feelings and may feel vulnerable when praising others, they tend to keep the accolades for the performance review.
High C Managers - they tend to notice what's missing and what's wrong, rather than what's right. Their keen attention to detail and accuracy may make them overly critical and miss opportunities to acknowledge their team.
No matter the style, employees need to hear praise and appreciation. The principle here is "what you focus on expands." When you recognize great performance - you usually get more of it.
---------------------------------------------------
One of the hardest things for Low I managers to do is compliment and acknowledge their staff. High I managers tend to be better at it because they themselves thrive on appreciation and are more expressive with all of their feelings.
High D Managers - they don't need the acknowledgement so they don't feel the need to give it. People are just doing what is expected of them - that's what they get paid for - why make a fuss about it?
High S Managers - they tend to silently appreciate people's efforts. Since they aren't expressive with any of their feelings and may feel vulnerable when praising others, they tend to keep the accolades for the performance review.
High C Managers - they tend to notice what's missing and what's wrong, rather than what's right. Their keen attention to detail and accuracy may make them overly critical and miss opportunities to acknowledge their team.
No matter the style, employees need to hear praise and appreciation. The principle here is "what you focus on expands." When you recognize great performance - you usually get more of it.
---------------------------------------------------
Monday, February 22, 2010
Is Tiger Woods just weak?
Everyone is misunderstood at some point. This happens because we are typically judged on our behavior – not our intentions. And our intentions are always good…right?
So what are the biggest misperceptions based on style?
High D – Most people assume High D’s feel no fear. They are known to be big risk takers. However, most have just learned to act in the face of fear. They subscribe to the philosophy, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
High I – Aren’t High I’s happy and bubbly all of the time? As soon as a High I is quiet, people will be asking them “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Even the highest I’s need to have their quiet moments.
High S – People make the mistake of assuming that High S’s are wimpy or weak. Big mistake! Just think of some of the most notable High S’s and judge for yourself: Gandhi, Tiger Woods, Kevin Costner, and Bill Gates.
High C – There is a misperception that High C’s are never silly or fun. While it may not be their normal modus operandi, when they are comfortable and with friends or family, they can be just as goofy as the rest of us!
(Since I originally wrote this, Tiger Woods has had a fall from grace. Apparently he is weak - just morally not behaviorally. But that's not what this blog is about...is it? ;-)
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So what are the biggest misperceptions based on style?
High D – Most people assume High D’s feel no fear. They are known to be big risk takers. However, most have just learned to act in the face of fear. They subscribe to the philosophy, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
High I – Aren’t High I’s happy and bubbly all of the time? As soon as a High I is quiet, people will be asking them “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Even the highest I’s need to have their quiet moments.
High S – People make the mistake of assuming that High S’s are wimpy or weak. Big mistake! Just think of some of the most notable High S’s and judge for yourself: Gandhi, Tiger Woods, Kevin Costner, and Bill Gates.
High C – There is a misperception that High C’s are never silly or fun. While it may not be their normal modus operandi, when they are comfortable and with friends or family, they can be just as goofy as the rest of us!
(Since I originally wrote this, Tiger Woods has had a fall from grace. Apparently he is weak - just morally not behaviorally. But that's not what this blog is about...is it? ;-)
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Never mind the chicken...
Why did the High D cross the road?
Someone told him he couldn’t.
Why did the High I cross the road?
To get to the party on the other side.
Why did the High S cross the road?
Because the D’s and I’s were crossing.
Why did the High C cross the road?
He didn’t. There wasn’t a crosswalk.
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Someone told him he couldn’t.
Why did the High I cross the road?
To get to the party on the other side.
Why did the High S cross the road?
Because the D’s and I’s were crossing.
Why did the High C cross the road?
He didn’t. There wasn’t a crosswalk.
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Monday, February 15, 2010
Who's most susceptible to road rage?
Can we tell a person's DISC behavioral style by how they drive? You betcha!
Dominance - already late, I'll eat on the way and call my admin, sorry honey didn't see you there waiting by the bus, glad you saw me coming, through the lights on yellow, merging without signals, oops didn't see you as I try to pass - don't really care if you're mad - back at you buddy with the honk, HELLOOOO! I am riding your bumper -- accelerate, break, accelerate, break...
Influence - sure I have time to drop you off on the way, we will grab coffee for the ride. What a great day, need the sun glasses and great song on the radio. Oops, sorry, weaved a bit dialing my cell -- wave, thanks for watching out for me and share a smile as that lady passes, traffic jam - time for another call to my buddy I haven't talked to in a while, knew we would get moving again in no time...
Steadiness - no I don't want to go the other way regardless if traffic might be delayed a bit, careful as I am backing out - have a great day at school honey, I could have made it - but no big deal, there is another opening I can see a ways down the road, darn will need to make that call once I get to the office, wave - that is ok, go ahead and pull in front of me, I'm not in a rush...
Compliance - traffic delay? How long-10min? I will need to leave 12 minutes earlier or map my new route before leaving, double check I have my planner, seat belt, completely stopping at all signs and lights and checking in all directions and mirrors twice, cruising along at the speed limit and still nervous when passing the trooper. Look, signal, look again and then pull over - both hands on the wheel at the 10 and 2 positions, arrive on time, almost perfect start to the day...
(This post was shared by Bob Peter and Marcy Miceli. Thanks!)
Dominance - already late, I'll eat on the way and call my admin, sorry honey didn't see you there waiting by the bus, glad you saw me coming, through the lights on yellow, merging without signals, oops didn't see you as I try to pass - don't really care if you're mad - back at you buddy with the honk, HELLOOOO! I am riding your bumper -- accelerate, break, accelerate, break...
Influence - sure I have time to drop you off on the way, we will grab coffee for the ride. What a great day, need the sun glasses and great song on the radio. Oops, sorry, weaved a bit dialing my cell -- wave, thanks for watching out for me and share a smile as that lady passes, traffic jam - time for another call to my buddy I haven't talked to in a while, knew we would get moving again in no time...
Steadiness - no I don't want to go the other way regardless if traffic might be delayed a bit, careful as I am backing out - have a great day at school honey, I could have made it - but no big deal, there is another opening I can see a ways down the road, darn will need to make that call once I get to the office, wave - that is ok, go ahead and pull in front of me, I'm not in a rush...
Compliance - traffic delay? How long-10min? I will need to leave 12 minutes earlier or map my new route before leaving, double check I have my planner, seat belt, completely stopping at all signs and lights and checking in all directions and mirrors twice, cruising along at the speed limit and still nervous when passing the trooper. Look, signal, look again and then pull over - both hands on the wheel at the 10 and 2 positions, arrive on time, almost perfect start to the day...
(This post was shared by Bob Peter and Marcy Miceli. Thanks!)
Friday, February 5, 2010
What you might hear the DISC styles say...
What quotes were most likely uttered by a High Dominant?
Second place is the first loser.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
What quotes were most likely uttered by a High Influence?
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Carpe diem. (Seize the day)
It’s better to look good than to feel good.
What quotes were most likely uttered by a High Steadiness?
There’s no “I” in team.
Patience is a virtue.
Better to be seen than heard.
What quotes were most likely uttered by a High Compliant?
Knowledge is power.
Toe the line.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Second place is the first loser.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
What quotes were most likely uttered by a High Influence?
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Carpe diem. (Seize the day)
It’s better to look good than to feel good.
What quotes were most likely uttered by a High Steadiness?
There’s no “I” in team.
Patience is a virtue.
Better to be seen than heard.
What quotes were most likely uttered by a High Compliant?
Knowledge is power.
Toe the line.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
How to Deal with High Dominant people
Or rather how NOT to deal with them. Did you know that the worst thing you can do when trying to sell or influence a High D style is to be glib or charming? It’s not that they don’t ever like having fun or flirtations, but if it comes at the wrong time (when they are in “work” mode) they will mostly likely cut you off or down.
When is the right time? When they initiate it. Here’s a story that illustrates “it’s all in the timing”.
I had a new “D” client that I tried to joke with on one of my initial visits. I told him he had too many bottom performers on his sales team because he had “nice-guy syndrome”. He glared at me and told me I was dead wrong and didn't understand the situation. Ooops! I was just kidding around. He didn’t appreciate it.
This same client nowadays will call me at 9am and ask me if I’m still in my pj’s (he knows I work from home and likes to tease me about it). We have a great relationship and we joke a lot – but on his terms!
So now I know and so do you!
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When is the right time? When they initiate it. Here’s a story that illustrates “it’s all in the timing”.
I had a new “D” client that I tried to joke with on one of my initial visits. I told him he had too many bottom performers on his sales team because he had “nice-guy syndrome”. He glared at me and told me I was dead wrong and didn't understand the situation. Ooops! I was just kidding around. He didn’t appreciate it.
This same client nowadays will call me at 9am and ask me if I’m still in my pj’s (he knows I work from home and likes to tease me about it). We have a great relationship and we joke a lot – but on his terms!
So now I know and so do you!
---
Monday, February 1, 2010
Which DISC style makes a better manager?
That’s a trick question because each style has its strengths and weaknesses when it comes to managing. So let’s just focus on one aspect of management – Acknowledging and Encouraging staff.
One of the hardest things to do for Low I managers to do is compliment and acknowledge their staff. High I managers tend to be better at it because they themselves thrive on appreciation and are more expressive with all of their feelings.
High D Managers – they don’t need the acknowledgement so they don’t feel the need to give it. People are just doing what is expected of them – that’s what they get paid for – why make a fuss about it?
High S Managers – they tend to silently appreciate people’s efforts. Since they aren’t expressive with any of their feelings and may feel vulnerable when praising others, they tend to keep the accolades for the performance review.
High C Managers – they tend to notice what’s missing and what’s wrong, rather than what’s right. Their keen attention to detail and accuracy may make them overly critical and miss opportunities to acknowledge their team.
No matter the style, employees need to hear praise and appreciation. The principle here is “what you focus on expands”. When you recognize great performance – you usually get more of it.
One of the hardest things to do for Low I managers to do is compliment and acknowledge their staff. High I managers tend to be better at it because they themselves thrive on appreciation and are more expressive with all of their feelings.
High D Managers – they don’t need the acknowledgement so they don’t feel the need to give it. People are just doing what is expected of them – that’s what they get paid for – why make a fuss about it?
High S Managers – they tend to silently appreciate people’s efforts. Since they aren’t expressive with any of their feelings and may feel vulnerable when praising others, they tend to keep the accolades for the performance review.
High C Managers – they tend to notice what’s missing and what’s wrong, rather than what’s right. Their keen attention to detail and accuracy may make them overly critical and miss opportunities to acknowledge their team.
No matter the style, employees need to hear praise and appreciation. The principle here is “what you focus on expands”. When you recognize great performance – you usually get more of it.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Using DISC to get the right people on the bus
So now that you understand the basics of DISC, I want to share my personal results and apply it an everyday challenge business owners and managers face - getting the right people on the bus and the right people in the right seats!
Here is a copy of my Natural DISC Graph. Usually my Influence score is 100% but at this particular time it was 86% but it's still my highest. Next is my Dominance at 72% followed by Compliance at 51%. Clearly I'm not that Steady as that score is 4%!!!
Here's how to use this information to make good hiring decisions. Different behavioral styles are naturally good at certain things. My style fits positions where independence, creativity, lots of people contact and fast, quick actions are needed.
You wouldn't want someone of my style in a job where process, concentration, focus, solitude and a moderate pace was required.
You may think this should be obvious. And yet, I found myself working as an Engineering Assistant years ago which required VERY different behaviors than what came naturally to me. My chatty, effervescent personality was tolerated by the engineers but it was pretty clear that I wouldn't be in that department very long.
Sometimes bad hiring and performance issues comes down to people being in the wrong job for their natural behavioral style. And DISC helps us understand both the JOBS and the PERSONS behavior.
Here is a copy of my Natural DISC Graph. Usually my Influence score is 100% but at this particular time it was 86% but it's still my highest. Next is my Dominance at 72% followed by Compliance at 51%. Clearly I'm not that Steady as that score is 4%!!!
Here's how to use this information to make good hiring decisions. Different behavioral styles are naturally good at certain things. My style fits positions where independence, creativity, lots of people contact and fast, quick actions are needed.
You wouldn't want someone of my style in a job where process, concentration, focus, solitude and a moderate pace was required.
You may think this should be obvious. And yet, I found myself working as an Engineering Assistant years ago which required VERY different behaviors than what came naturally to me. My chatty, effervescent personality was tolerated by the engineers but it was pretty clear that I wouldn't be in that department very long.
Sometimes bad hiring and performance issues comes down to people being in the wrong job for their natural behavioral style. And DISC helps us understand both the JOBS and the PERSONS behavior.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
DISC training begins!
It's been awhile since I've posted here. With two blogs, Facebook, two newsletters, LinkedIn, and being the business Examiner for my region, sometimes it's a challenge just posting regularly. Enough excuses! I have a magic wand after all!
So today begins DISC education via the blog. Regularly, I will post tips and tidbits about the DISC behavioral assessment. Even if you're not familiar with DISC, you will be able to understand and recognize human behavior.
DISC is a behavioral model and online assessment that I use with my clients to help them understand the behavior of job candidates, employees, managers, etc. DISC stands for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance. And every person can be measured on a scale of 100% in each of these four categories.
Dominance = results oriented, driven, competitive, direct
Influence = people oriented, outgoing, optimistic, charming, chatty
Steadiness = process oriented, loyal, patient, trustworthy
Compliance = detail oriented, accurate, precise, perfectionist
While all these attributes sound great, every style has it's limitations too!
Dominance = arrogant and argumentative
Influence = unrealistic and emotional
Steadiness = stubborn and resists change
Compliance = picky and critical
So what combination of these factors are you? Most people have 2 or 3 in their style. Less than 2% of the population has only one factor in their style. Next post, I'll share mine!
So today begins DISC education via the blog. Regularly, I will post tips and tidbits about the DISC behavioral assessment. Even if you're not familiar with DISC, you will be able to understand and recognize human behavior.
DISC is a behavioral model and online assessment that I use with my clients to help them understand the behavior of job candidates, employees, managers, etc. DISC stands for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance. And every person can be measured on a scale of 100% in each of these four categories.
Dominance = results oriented, driven, competitive, direct
Influence = people oriented, outgoing, optimistic, charming, chatty
Steadiness = process oriented, loyal, patient, trustworthy
Compliance = detail oriented, accurate, precise, perfectionist
While all these attributes sound great, every style has it's limitations too!
Dominance = arrogant and argumentative
Influence = unrealistic and emotional
Steadiness = stubborn and resists change
Compliance = picky and critical
So what combination of these factors are you? Most people have 2 or 3 in their style. Less than 2% of the population has only one factor in their style. Next post, I'll share mine!
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